So, where are all local singles black lesbians in my town? Are they hiding somewhere? More than one woman in the United Kingdom has asked these questions, and even London, with its clubs, pubs and diversity is not an exception. The truth is that — it’s not that easy to meet single people, in general, and when it comes to black lesbian women dating, the options become even more limited. That’s for the bad part. For the good part, matchmaking sites in London allow everyone to find a perfect partner with relatively little effort.
Still, even though online dating is not a new thing, finding a decent date — not to say a life partner — may take a while. Even though more and more people join every day, even though search algorithms become more and more refined, love still has a high degree of unpredictability no computer can calculate. So, if you are ready to start a relationship with a black woman — patience! And, of course, a little bit of science — which we’ll discuss below.
How to Choose the Best Black Lesbian Dating Website in the UK?
You don’t choose one at all. Yes, you read it right — you can’t really choose the ‘best’ dating site because it’s all about trial and effort. No one can say for sure which platform will work for you. Plus, apart from specialized lesbian dating sites, there are plenty of new progressive apps that welcome not only lesbians but also gay and straight singles. It’s really all about setting your search parameters.
Still, it’s possible to mention a few apps/sites criteria that should lead you in the right direction:
- Design. It’s not just about money the owners invested in the service (even though if they did, it’s a promising start), it’s about who the service is aimed at. Take a close look — is it the app for younger or older people? Higher or lower income? Trendy or not so much? The answers should give you more insight into the users’ psychology.
- Flexibility. How adjustable are the search filters? How many parameters can you specify? Does it welcome all singles, or is it designed for lesbian dating exclusively? Even though you’re welcome to give straight dating apps a chance, remember that casting a wide net is not always a good option; so, it would be better to start with niche platforms first.
- Years in the market. If the site has lasted a while, it’s usually a sign of trustability. Still, new platforms may not be so stiff, so you might want to try them, too.
Do I need to pay for Black lesbian online dating sites?
It depends. Paid services do not necessarily give you a larger pool of options than free ones, so ‘expensive’ is not always ‘better.’ Still, the undeniable perk of using paid services is that you will not waste your time on people who are just… well, wasting their time because they have nothing to do with it. If you really want to meet black women — locally, then — paid services may be a better option because they show profiles of singles with similarly serious intentions. It surely gives you an upper hand, but still — no dating site, whether free or paid, can guarantee a 100% success rate.
5 Dating Advice for Single Black Lesbian Women
- Don’t limit your choice to just one platform. With a rather limited pool of options for lesbian women dating, it is not always wise to narrow your search to just one lesbian dating service. Register with a couple of those, and do not take other progressive dating apps off the counts. It’s true that some people have more success with certain apps than the others, but no one can tell for sure how each of those services will work for you, personally.
- Don’t take failure personally. As Mellisa Harris-Perry notes in her Sister Citizen, “a Black woman must not fall into depression or allow herself to be weak, pitiful, or needy — these are attributes of white women.” It’s all fair and square, but this ideology has led most of us to take each failure personally. The truth, however, is that dating takes time and does not always work out well. Our fate may be in our own hands, but chance still plays a great part in this picture. Never forget that you cannot always influence everything.
- Take match-making with a grain of salt. Given how faulty search algorithms may be, you really should not take app suggestions too seriously. After all, all of these filters are created and refined by people — outside people who cannot predict what you need in life. And, as fate would have it, some matches that seem the most compatible turn out the dullest romances one can imagine. Opposites attract, so sometimes it’s best not to rely on the computer too much.
- Make friends if you can’t make lovers. A successful relationship with a black woman is not necessarily a romance. Yes, you may come to matchmaking sites in London looking for a lover, but find a friend instead — and that is already a great win. It does not mean, of course, that you should stop looking for a lover altogether, but a new connection is still a win. Don’t forget about the old-fashioned approaches to dating — you can meet black women via friends, too. So, dating apps may help you to find a perfect partner indirectly — It just takes a bit more time.
- Keep an open mind. All in all, do not be too picky with your search filter preferences. It’s great to know what you want from a partner, but quite often we fall in love and build strong ties with people we would never have imagined as our lovers. Instead of defining ten search criteria, for example, choose two or three. As you use the dating site, you’ll have a chance to play and adjust these settings on the go. But in any case, don’t judge people harshly — your dates especially maybe even, give them more than one chance to impress you.